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Unexpected Company

from .​.​.​All Right With Me by Herman Gauche

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A man bemoans his perdicamint having fallen into a trap laid for him by his unconscious guilt over his mother's untimely death whilst juggling chainsaws


Theres a bad dream in my pantry
I put it there without thinking
I had unexpected company
And no place else to put it
I shoved it in and closed the door
now I’ve no idea what to do

There's a golf commentator
in my refrigerator
I put him there in a fit of anger.
He was tryin' to see
what I had goin' on in my pantry
though I warned him off it pleanty
I hear him whisper, 'He's approaching the linoleum'
...but I'll be damned if I'm gonna play
the foooooooooool

Theres a dreadful sound coming from my cupboard
sounds n’awful lot like my dear departed mother
she said -Son, you got a house guest and ya skart ‘um
half-to-death, didn’t I teach ya better than that? well...
as I stood there in my kitchen beset at every turn
by apparitions and television personalities I began to feel
the first pangs of hunger and I wondered what had I done
that I should find myself at this most unwelcome juncture
so I called up my old man, “That you Son?” he said as is his custom whereupon I proceeded to apraise him of
the situation and asked him how he thought it might be remedied

He said “Boy ya ain’t lyin' I can hear your mother cryin’
Nearly every night as I lie awake in bed, she says my boy ain’t never gonna 'mount to nothin' without
his momma round to kiss and hug him and I tell her I can only
do my best. Now it’s a doggone shame the way that woman
passed away and workin’ chainsaw weren’t no woman's place
If she hadn’t got the hiccups you know things mighta been different
damn the luck but, honey, it don’t change a thing. 'Cause you know you got to eat and frankly I could use some sleep
take up thy broom and clean that pantry out; then open up the cupboard
tell momma dear thatcha love her but she’s dead god bless her and its time she rest in peace…

Now, you say you had a golf commentator in your dang'ol frigidaire? By Gum!

That’s one I ain’t heard before!
Just crack the door so’s he can breath and call me back by middle next week
I oughta have this figgurd so’s we don’t involve the police


from .​.​.​All Right With Me, released January 1, 2007


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Herman Gauche Denver, Colorado

Herman Gauche released his first full length album '...All Right With Me" in 2006. Now, over a decade in preperation, his little anticipated followup TBA is scheduled to arrive later this year, or next. In the meantime he has released a single "Coronavirus (On The Bayou!)" and corresponding video as a CD single along with the first pre-release from this forthcoming album "The F*lk Song" ... more

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